Hello again, lovelies!
I know it’s been a while since you heard from me. I’ve been rubbish at blogging and honestly I feel a little guilty about it. Even though I have a good reason for it, I still feel like I’m failing you all. So I’m going to try and do better despite everything life is throwing at me because you are important to me. And this blog is as well. I’ll get into more detail about my absence in a later post, but for now, I wanted to celebrate Ace Week with you!
Right now (because sexuality AND gender are both very fluid and can change throughout someone’s life) I identify as panromantic demisexual. And I’m here to tell you how I found that identity.
What does it mean to be Panromantic Demisexual?
Whew, that’s a mouthful, isn’t it? I know, that’s why I usually say I’m queer or ace-spec. But today I felt I should give you the full name of what I identify as.
Now, I know some of you might be wondering: But Bee, what does that mean? And I’m here to give you an answer.
For me this means I can feel romantically attracted to anyone regardless of gender. That’s what panromantic means. Though I’m sure some of you know what demisexual means, but to clarify it for those that don’t know: I don’t feel sexual attraction unless I also feel a close personal connection to that person.
Got it? Good. Let’s move on then!
From Bi to Demi
When I was a young teen, I didn’t know about anything other than Lesbian, Gay and Bi. I vaguely heard about trans people, but didn’t really get in touch with them enough to know more about it. So back then, I didn’t know about all the other possibilities on the wide spectrum that is sexuality.
I identified as bisexual all throughout my high school life. Because I felt attracted to both guys and girls. (Though I did dump one boyfriend with the excuse that I was lesbian because I didn’t know how else to dump him. I’m awkward, people. Just saying.)
The older I got, the more I felt that that label didn’t fit right anymore. It didn’t feel like mine. But I was still a clueless Bee until I got in touch with people from all over the sexuality spectrum through blogging 7 years ago. And that’s how I found the label pansexual. And that felt slightly better, but it still wasn’t really me.
A few years ago, I met a wonderful person who soon became one of my best friends, and she was asexual. She opened me up to the spectrum and it was there I found the name that fit just right.